belize

i’m in belize.
it is cool.
i am watching home movies
a cartoon on [adult swim].

the nation is going through
a little bit of social reform
and there are demonstrations
and strikes.

i heard something on the radio
that sums up the entire nation:

"if you have a problem
and your problem has a solution
then don't worry.
but if you have a problem
and your problem doesn't have a solution
then don't worry."

i am in a hotel called
the copa banana
and it is decorated like a
pottery barn ad.
not saying that is bad
just stating the facts.

some nights i camp
and some nights i stay at
seedy belize city hotels
and some nights i stay at
pottery barn guest houses.

im stuck in the middle of
wanting to be a
rugged naturalist backpacker
and really just wanting
to be comfortable.

i look at how the people here live
and sometimes i feel guilty about
driving a car that cost
three times more than most,
and i do mean most,
peoples houses.
it is sad and uncomfortable.
(that was an understatement)

i’m going to get back to
watching some cartoons.
i haven't seen any english
cartoon network cartoons
in four weeks.
now that’s roughin’ it.
i saw them a few weeks ago
but they were in spanish
i didn't understand much.

yesterday i was at tikal
the mayan stronghold
and the rebel base
in the very first
star wars movie.

it was pretty cool
although it was still
just a pile of rocks.

i was hoping to find some sort of
spiritual attachment to them
but i seem to find that in people
way more than rocks.

they are still super cool
because they didn't have use
of the wheel
nor beast of burden.

i am in el salvador.
i crossed the boarder yesterday
and they wanted to keep my car
because the permit had expired,
but they didn't
and they didn't even charge me.
i think the wheelchair
helped out on that one.

all the stuff they say
about guatemala being dangerous
and full of thieves and thugs
and banditos and corrupt police
is just not true.

instead, it is full of
caring compassionate individuals
some are extremely zealous about
their church and religion
and about their relationship with God.
i've never spent a lent and easter season
so critically aware of
the passion of christ.
it was on every street corner
every windowsill
could be found late at night
and early in the morning.
it was as blatant
as a big neon cross
or as simple as a lily.

i remember my grandmother
putting palm leaves over her
picture of christ in her bedroom.
i picked her up some of these.

i love the easter bunny
and the chocolate,
but where did that come from
and what is it all about?

when i first got here
i used to think that guatemala
was so far behind
that they were ten, thirty,
and sometimes as much as

a hundred years behind.

but i sat at a park the other day
and watched a family drive by
with the kids in the back
of a datsun pick up truck
and realized that i was looking
at my childhood and that
i was once that kid
riding around in the pickup.

it isn't that guatemala is behind
or needs changed in any way.
it is perfect the way it is
it's right where it is supposed to be.

i hear people say all the time
"oh, what is the world coming to" and
"back in the good ole days" and
you know those sayings.
well guatemala is still that
good wholesome place that once was.

of course it can be harsh and brutal
and inconvenient at times
but that is one of the trade offs
for the simple life.

for some reason i was stuck on the idea
that where my world is at
should be the guide for where
the rest of the world is supposed to be.
my world is good
but this one is also.
thank you guatemala.

i've finally made it to Costa Rica
it doesn't get any more anticlimactic.
all this time and all of this driving
it's the journey, not the destination.

i mean, it is beautiful here
but no more or less beautiful
than anywhere else, it's just that
my expectations were higher.

i'm in san jose now
and there are more prostitutes
than i have ever seen
in my entire life.

it was hard to leave el salvador
i had met good people and
was living very comfortably.
maybe even more so than home.

i went to honduras with jesus
and his brother oscar and
went diving for the first time
in the caribbean sea.
at first it was exciting
but about a half hour after
the whole thing was over
i realized it was terrifying.

nicaragua had the best artwork
i have ever seen and
a history so violent
it rivals the middle east.

the roadside was filled
with so much litter
that i thought they had
decorated for some festival.
the entire place looked
like a colorful float.

i'll be in panama soon
and then the road ends.
i'll take a photo and
drive back home.

unless i take a boat
to columbia and continue to
tierra del fuego,
the land of fire.

the boxer

i am in mexico.
if all goes well
i should be home in
seven or eight days.

it is a little strange
that the further north i drive
the hotter it gets.
it is very sunny and hot.

i´ve been traveling with
jeff and swiss miss
jeff is a new york jew
that reminds me of matt,
and swiss miss is a
nineteen year old swiss girl
who is traveling alone.
although, she is rarely alone
because she is fun to hang around
and people like to think they
are taking care of her.

honestly, we left swiss miss
in huehuetenango, guatemala yesterday
it just sounded cooler,
to have a swiss girl in the car
than just two smelly guys
bumbling their way through mexico.

honestly, we are not really bumbling
jeff was a cartographer for microsoft
so we haven´t been perdido (lost)
for more than five minutes at a time.
before jeff i was going to call this
perdido tour 2005.
it seemed that the only way for me
to find anything was
to get really really lost.

i should be home on sunday
and i am getting more and more
excited with every mile.
leaving panama i was a bit depressed
that i didn´t go for tierra del fuego.
but then i realized i can do that
tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow.

i started thinking about home
and my nieces and nephew.
i started thinking about my family
and my very comfortable home.
i started thinking about dad´s farm
and mom´s cooking.
i realized it was summer there
and winter here.

by costa rica i was convinced
i was making the right decision.
costa rica was still a pithole.

nicaragua was once again
too short, but
i know i will return there.
i don´t know why.
it has a strong underlying
element of danger,
but i know i´ll be back.

i noticed that the girls from honduras
are cuter than the girls from costa rica.
i might be lying to myself, but
beauty is in the eye of the beholder,
right?

salvador was once again a toughie,
oscar wanted me to stay,
and i thought about it more than once.
but i knew it wasn´t the time.
we stayed for a wedding
and then scurried on.

guate, guate, guate.
guatemala, guate.
this one was the thorn in my shoe.
if there is one country
that has stole my heart
in central america
it has to be guatemala.
jeff and I are taking a break.
we ran out of gas last night,
right outside of chiapas,
zapatista controlled territory,
and had a gas siphoning ordeal
under the cheshire moon.

we are still ahead of schedule
and will make it back to medina
my norman rockwell painting,
and darrin and tina´s wedding
with plenty of time to spare.

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